Category Archives: Throwbacks

Upcoming Halloween TV

One of my favorite things about this time of year is that it’s so very easy to find a Halloween-themed show or scary movie on TV any ol’ time.  If you’re looking for what to watch, look no further.  I did the research so you don’t have to miss any of your favorites.

TV Episodes/Movies

October 14

All-Star Halloween Spectacular (HGTV)

October 16

The Simpsons  “Treehouse of Horror XXVII” (Fox)

October 18

Brooklyn Nine-Nine “Halloween IV” (Fox)

October 19

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (ABC)

October 20

The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let’s Do the Time Warp Again (live musical) (Fox)

October 23

Bob’s Burgers “Teen-A-Witch” (Fox)

The Walking Dead (season premier) (AMC)

October 25

The Middle  “Halloween VIII: The Heckoning” (ABC)

American Housewife “Westport Zombies” (ABC)

Fresh Off the Boat “Louisween” (ABC)

The Real O’Neals “The Real Halloween” (ABC)

October 26

Modern Family “Halloween 4: The Revenge of Rod Skyhook” (ABC)

The Goldbergs “Stefan King” (ABC)

Speechless “H-A-L-HALLOWEEN” (ABC)

Black-ish “The Purge” (ABC)

Series/Events

American Horror Story: Roanoke: The much-anticipated 6th season of this crazy series premiered on September 14 on FX, and you can catch new episodes on Wednesday nights.  Catch up on the FXNow app if you’re behind!

Scream Queens: Season 2 began on September 20 on Fox.  New episodes can be watched each Tuesday night.

Halloween Wars: The first episode premiered October 2 on Food Network, but you can watch new episodes every Sunday through October 30.

Halloween Baking Championship: The first bake-off of the season premiered October 3 on Food Network. You can watch new episodes every Sunday through October 31.

AMC Fearfest: There will be over 60 different horror movies running from October 16 through October 31 on AMC.

13 Nights of Halloween: Watch fun movies each night on ABC Family from October 19 through October 31.

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Looks like we all have quite a bit to keep us busy until the big night!  Enjoy these glory days while you can.  Before you know it, we’ll be inundated with Christmas music and sappy tv shows, and we’ll have to satisfy our horror cravings with Nightmare Before Christmas and Black Christmas.  That’s not really a bad thing, but we definitely have more options this time of year.

Are there any shows coming up that I missed?  Let me know in the comments or contact me through the contact page.

Frightful Comedy: Stephen Lynch’s Halloween

I love scary things.  If you’ve been reading the blog, I’m sure you already know that.  But I like to laugh, too.  A lot.  So mixing creepy with funny almost always makes me happy.

I stumbled across this little gem a few days ago.  I’m already a fan of Stephen Lynch’s comedy (his song, “Beelz,” is one of my favorites), so I was surprised I hadn’t already heard it before.    And since I hadn’t heard of it, I’m sure there are people like me who would also like to check it out.

Stephen Lynch – Halloween

Thinking of all the cool creatures
That I will meet… on this night.
Ghosts and goblins and witches,
Roaming the streets… in moonlight.

Bowls of candy and goodies,
Delicious and waiting… in store.
The sound of cute little footsteps
As they approach…my front door.

Letting the children inside to drink beers,
Razorblades hidden in Three Musketeers,
Screams from the basement of kids begging to be set free,
That’s what Halloween means to me.

Tightening the clamps that are holding
Their little heads… so tight.
Putting my lips to their ears
As I whisper, “Please… don’t fight.”

I promise I’ll let you go home
If you swear not to tell… a soul!
Well, I’ll just untie these—I’m kidding.
Now, where is my chainsaw? Let’s rock and roll!

A pinch of your brother, a teaspoon of you,
With the head of your sister, would make a good stew.
I’d give you a taste, but your tongue’s in the stew. Irony!
That’s what Halloween means to me.

Trick-or-treat, smell my feet,
Give me something good to eat.
Trick-or-treat, smell my feet,
Give me someone… good to eaaaat!

American Horror Story: No More Waiting

Alright American Horror Story fans, the wait is over!  Season 6 begins tonight, and all of the speculation over the theme can come to an end.  Hallelujah!

If you’re a fan like me, I’m sure you’ve been experiencing the frustrating yet titillating impact of the many, MANY different teasers/commercials they’ve made for this season.  Seriously.  I just counted 30 on their Facebook page.  Yes, some of them are compilations, but still, 30 is technically a buttload.  Look it up.

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Check them out here.

They’ve already said that not all the teasers are actually related to the theme of the season.  There was even a sweepstakes people could enter to try to pick the correct teaser and win a Mercedes-Benz.

Don’t worry if you didn’t enter.  I’m pretty sure they’ll be calling my name as the winner tonight.

I’ve read comments on Facebook and Reddit from people angry that the creators are messing with the fan base, but I think this marketing ploy has been pretty awesome.  The teasers have been one crazy mindf*ck after another.  So entertaining.  I’m wondering how the actual show will measure up.

Here’s what we know so far:

  1. We know Roanoke will play a part.  Set photos with the word “Croatoan” carved into a tree have led some to believe, and prematurely claim, that the theme of the season is American Horror Story: Lost Colony.  I don’t think this is true, but we know that this has already been a part of the AHS universe.  Violet used the word in the Murder House season to banish a ghost after psychic Billie Dean told the story of Roanoke.
  2. Lady Gaga is definitely in it.  Like it or not (and for the record, I love it), she’s been confirmed as a cast member, and her newest song was featured in one of the latest teasers.  I liked Gaga’s performance in Hotel, so I’m pretty happy she’s back.
  3. There’s going to be different eras involved.  The Roanoke set photos are obviously from way back when, but we’ve been told that the present day will also be seen.
  4. TV Guide and Rotten Tomatoes might have accidentally given away the theme.  Both have indicated that American Horror Story: The Mist will be the name this time around.  Are they right?
  5. The creators have given sneaky little hints that the show will have a lot to do with cults and children.  Creepy kids?  Maybe the little antichrist, Michael, from the first season will make an appearance.  One of the teasers was very Rosemary’s Baby-ish, so I think it’s a big possibility.
  6. The freaky hum prominent in some of the trailers is awesome.  I just found out tonight that it’s a song from Kali Uchis named Sycamore Tree.  I wonder if ‘Forest’ is the theme after all.
  7. If Jessica Lange makes an appearance – even if it’s just a quick cameo – I will vomit from utter happiness.

I’m sure we won’t get all the answers to our questions tonight, but at least it’ll be a start.  The anticipation has been killing me!!!

Throwback: Halloween Carnivals

One of my fondest memories (before the world got all easily offended about every damn thing) was the yearly Halloween carnival at our school.  All the kids and some of the adults in our town would dress up, play games, and eat – a lot.  We weren’t worried about kids having too much sugar or kids getting too scared.  We ate funnel cakes and cotton candy until we got sick and let little kids go through the PG-13 haunted house without fear of damaging anyone’s fragile psyches.

Now, it seems like these carnivals aren’t as fun as they used to be, whether it be because people are worried about security, because nosy parents are worried about other people’s kids having too much candy, or because the morality police has decided that Halloween isn’t a family-friendly holiday.

The latter makes me think of that King of the Hill episode where one dumbass, holier-than-thou woman gets Halloween banned in Arlen.  What the hell is wrong with people?  I have to turn that one off whenever it comes on.

Anyway, school Halloween carnivals just don’t seem as prevalent or as fun as they used to be, so this is my plea to all the parents or would-be parents out there to get your kids/future kids involved in things like these while their young.  If you find out about a carnival, don’t dismiss it.  Kids love that kind of stuff, and if you skip it, you could be missing out on giving your child some pretty great memories.

 

TFO’s Top 3 Favorite Supernatural Series

Do you love to read?  I do.  I love curling up with a good book, a nice cup of tea, and a blanket and just getting lost in my imagination.  And, of course, being who I am, my favorite books are scary or related to the supernatural.  Also, I really enjoy getting to know certain characters and revisiting my “friends” from time to time, so finding a good series is very important to me.

Here are my top 3 favorite supernatural series

3.  Charlaine Harris’s Sookie Stackhouse series

You might already be pretty familiar with this series from its TV adaptation, True Blood, starring Anna Paquin.  The show is good, but it really strayed from the source material.  So if you have already seen the show, don’t worry.  You can still enjoy the books.

They’re so much fun, and Sookie is such an endearing heroine.  Vampires take center stage in this series, and her interactions with the various vampires around her, as well as with other supernatural creatures, are sexy, harrowing, and sometimes hilarious.

2. Kim Harrison’s Hollows series

Rachel Morgan is the star of this series.  She’s a sassy witch in the post-Turn U.S. where vampires, werewolves, witches, demons, fairies, and other supernatural creatures have come out of hiding after a semi-apocalyptic event takes out much of the human race.

Rachel and her partners Ivy (a vampire) and Jenks (a pixy) tackle many obstacles in their quest to make their own place in the world.

1. Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake series

Anita Blake is a badass.  I met her in high school after stumbling upon “The Laughing Corpse,” the second book of the series, in the public library.  After wearing out the library’s copy, I found out that the series was still going on, and that’s all she wrote (except obviously not).

Anita is an animator, or zombie raiser, that interacts frequently with other supernatural creatures, including vampires and werewolves.  I say “interacts,” but it’s so much more than that.  Just read them. You’ll be glad you did.

Throwback: Creepy Kids Songs

Does anyone else remember those fun songs we use to sing as kids in Kindergarten?  Little Bunny Foo Foo? Baby Bumblebee?  Yes? No?  Whatever.  Whether you do or you don’t, I think you know where this blog post is going.

My favorite kiddie songs, of course, were those we sang around Halloween.  I’m not sure why, but one of them popped in my head the other day.

“Stirring and stirring and stirring my brew”

(*Make stirring motion with hands.*)

“Ooooooooooo,

Ooooooooooo”

(*Move hands down in front of your face.*)

[Repeat]

“Tip toe, tip toe, tip toe, BOO!”

(*Make ‘tip toe’ motion with fingers before scaring the person next to you.*)

Cute, right?

And then there’s the always awesome “The Hearse Song,” edited to show how I always sang it as a kid:

“Don’t you ever laugh as a hearse goes by,
For you may be the next to die.
They wrap you up in a big white sheet
and cover you from your head to your feet.
They put you in a big black box
And cover you up with dirt and rocks.
All goes well for about a week,
And then the coffin begins to leak.
The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out,
They play pinochle on your snout,
They eat your eyes, they eat your nose,
They eat the jelly between your toes.
A big green worm with rolling eyes
Crawls in your stomach and out your sides.
Your stomach turns a slimy green,
And pus pours out like whipping cream.
You’ll spread it on a slice of bread,
And that’s what you eat when you are dead.”

Loved. That. Song.  And my aunt always added a quick, rousing rendition of “Gopher Guts” after the end of that one with a quick intro to make it flow right:

“It tastes like…

Great big gobs of ooey, gooey gopher guts!

Great big mounds of mutilated monkey meat!

Great big gobs of ooey, gooey gopher guts!

Oh, I forgot my spoon!

But I got my straw.

Slurp! Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!”

[Repeat last two lines three times]

It just makes me smile thinking about those little songs.  They’re a little cute, a little creepy, and just fun to sing.

Are there any creepy songs from your childhood that you still like to sing from time to time?

Throwback: Late 90s Teen Horror

Ah, the 90s.  They were fun, right?  So many great things came from that decade – the fashion, grunge, Must-See TV, Beanie Babies, The Backstreet Boys.  And, hey, what about that Macarena?

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These guys get it.

Fortunately for us, the decade also spawned a ton of horror movies – some great, some not so much.  But for this post, I want to focus on the last half of the decade and the rash of teen slasher movies all started by one little movie you might have heard about: Scream.

Scream came out in 1996 and revitalized the slasher genre.  I love this movie.  It’s a funny, bloody, self-aware good time, and the sequels – although they’re not as great – keep the punchline going.  Neve Campbell established herself as a worthy addition to the scream queen hall of fame, and Ghostface has now become almost as iconic as Michael Myers, Freddy, and Jason.

Following Scream, we had:

  • I Know What You Did Last Summer (October 1997)
  • Scream 2 (December 1997)
  • Disturbing Behavior (July 1998)
  • Halloween H2O (August 1998)
  • Urban Legend (September 1998)
  • Bride of Chucky (October 1998)
  • The Faculty (November 1998)
  • I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (November 1998)

I mean just look at that list!  I’m feeling the nostalgia.  For real.  How about you?  What’s your favorite movie from the list?

 

Throwback: R.L. Stine’s Goosebumps

What kid didn’t love the Goosebumps series as a kid?  I was 8 years old when the first book in the series, Welcome to Dead House, was released in 1992, so I was a prime target for these things.  Scary but not too scary, funny, and thrilling, these books had it all for a young kid with a love of the creepy.

 

20160618_133809_HDRMy favorites were Return of the Mummy, Say Cheese and Die!, One Day at Horrorland, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, and – of course – Night of the Living Dummy.

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Every time I think of Goosebumps, I think of the cover with the creepy ventriloquist dummy.  Not the one pictured above, but the original.  I wanted a dummy so badly after I read that story.  Sadly, I never got one, but it’s okay.  I don’t know what I would have done if it had come to life anyway.

After reading a little bit about the newer parts of the series, I realize I grew out of them way earlier than I thought.  I guess I transitioned to Stine’s Fear Street series and forgot about good ol’ Goosebumps.  I feel like I need to go back and read some more.  I hear the Goosebumps movie was really fun, but I haven’t been able to watch it yet.  It’s on my list of things to do.

It’s amazing how many different versions of Goosebumps there are now.  I was surprised to see the variety after I took a quick peek at the selection of our local bookstore.  Just look at these:

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They’ve got the HorrorLand series, Goosebumps Gold, Goosebumps Most Wanted, Goosebumps, Hall of Horrors, and the classic Goosebumps books.  Of course, there are also movie tie-in books, but since I haven’t seen the movie, I’m not sure how cool they’d be.

If you have children of your own that are in the right age range for these, I’d recommend getting them to read these books now.  Reading is important for any age, and I think these books are fun enough to get any kid interested.

Throwback: Are You Afraid of the Dark?

I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid, Snick on Nickolodeon was the highlight of my weekend (except for Tales from the Crypt).   So many classic Nick shows.  From Clarissa Explains It All to Ren & Stimpy, so many memories and so many laughs.

And, of course, there was this little gem.

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Are You Afraid of the Dark? premiered on Nickelodeon in the early 90s and taught kids my age the art of the scary story.  Stories were based on urban legends, supernatural beings, or fairy tales, and they always had a twist.  They were like Tales from the Crypt or The Twilight Zone for a younger audience, except instead of the Cryptkeeper or Rod Serling, it had the Midnight Society, a group of kids who met at midnight around a campfire to tell scary stories.  I always thought the Midnight Society was the coolest thing ever, and I wanted so badly to have a group like that of my own.

But whose parents are just going to let their 10-year-old out at midnight to hang around a campfire at a secret location in the woods?  Not many.

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There were so many awesome stories and characters.  Some of my favorite episodes were:

  • The Tale of Laughing in the Dark:  A kid visits a local carnival’s haunted house and steals the nose of Zeebo, an animatronic clown that turns out to be a little attached to his missing body part.
  • The Tale of the Nightly Neighbors: New neighbors arouse the suspicion of children in the house next door, who suspect they might be vampires.
  • The Tale of the Frozen Ghost: A kid and his babysitter visit his aunt’s house and encounter a spirit haunting the area.  (To this day, I still utter a sad little “I’m cold” when I’m freezing.  Watch it. You’ll know what I mean.)
  • The Tale of the Ghastly Grinner: A boy accidentally unleashes a comic book villain who terrorizes his town.
  • The Tale of the Dangerous Soup: A teen starts working in a restaurant and finds out their best-selling soup has an interesting ingredient.

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I might just have to watch some of these again.  They might be for a younger crowd, but I’ve never really grown up, so it’s okay.

Anyone out there have some favorite episodes they want to share?  What are your favorite scary shows from your childhood?

Frightmaster Lovecraft, Spinnin’ Terror

It’s Friday again, and if you’re looking for a way to start your weekend off with a fright, then I suggest you look into the works of H.P. Lovecraft.

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Even if you haven’t read any of Lovecraft’s stories, you are still sure to have read, heard, or watched something that was influenced by him.  Multiple musicians, directors, comic book artists, and authors (including the master of horror himself, Stephen King) have cited Lovecraft as a huge inspiration in their work.

And for all you Evil Dead fans (myself included), you know the Necronomicon?  Yeah.  He invented that.  Respect.

Now, if you’re looking for light reading, this ain’t it.  His stories boast some of the heaviest content I have ever read.  Thinking about the size of the universe and your place in it can make you feel small, but Lovecraft’s descriptions of our place in the galaxy, the origins of our ancestors, and ancient inhabitants of our planet make you feel positively microscopic.

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It’s not feel-good material is what I’m saying.  It’s just good.  Really good.

My favorites of his stories are “At the Mountains of Madness,” “Dreams in the Witch House,” “The Dunwich Horror,” “The Shunned House,” and, of course, “The Call of Cthulhu.”

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It’s about this guy, but scarier.

I suggest you start with all of those and keep going.

Not much of a reader?  No problem.  Check out the following movies and TV episodes based on or influenced by his work:

  • Re-Animator (1985): This horror-comedy based on Lovecraft’s story “Herbert West – Re-Animator” is gory, disturbing, and hilarious.
  • Masters of Horror – “Dreams in the Witch House” (2005):  The second episode of this awesome series (check it out if you haven’t already) is directly taken from the story of the same name.  It’s dark and creepy, and it’s one of my favorites.
  • South Park – “Coon 2: Hindsight,” “Mysterion Rises,” & “Coon vs. Coon & Friends” (2010): Trouble begins in the first episode of this trilogy when DP drills too deep into the ocean floor and releases Cthulhu from the watery depths.  Of course, Cartman is there to make friends.  If you love to laugh, this will not disappoint.
  • The Thing (1982): Although it isn’t actually based on the story, this movie is reminiscent of “At the Mountains of Madness,” one of my all-time favorite Lovecraft stories.  Antarctica? Check.  Doom? Check. Gloom? Check. Creepy Alien Lifeforms? Check.

I believe I’ll take my own advice and re-read some of my favorite stories over this long weekend.  What about you?  Do you have any favorites?  What Lovecraftian horrors give you the chills?