Tag Archives: horror movies

Dark Comedy, Movies, Top Horror Lists

Top 20 Horror Movies to Make You Laugh

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Not everyone loves horror movies.  Shocking. I know.  But there are people out there that just don’t like to be scared, at least not completely.  That’s why so many horror movies throw in comic relief from time to time.

So for those people who need a little more laughs than shivers, here’s the Fright Owl’s Top 20 Horror Movies to Make You Laugh.

Warning: Here be spoilers.

20) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994): Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zelwegger both star in this TCM sequel.  It’s got a terrible rating on IMDB, but I recommend it just for the absurdity of it all.  Plus, Renee Zelwegger bellows a menacing “You sit the fuck down!” at a rising Leatherface.  Instant classic moment.

19) House (1986): The monsters in this remind me of a Looney Tunes episode.  Just a bunch of craziness and some classic 80s sweaters.

18) Lake Placid (1999): Betty White plays an old lady who has been feeding alligators along with her husband in her lake for years.  Who cares that one got so big it started eating people?  You leave her babies alone.

17) Gremlins 2 (1990): This was so entertaining to me when I was a kid, and it still has some good value today.  The gremlins dress up in all sorts of fun little costumes, and remember the theater scene?  Love it.

16) American Werewolf in London (1981):  This one’s a little scarier than some on the list, but it’s got some comedic value, mostly in the form of David’s deceased buddy, Jack.

15) Slither (2006): Gross and funny, this one stars fan-favorite Nathan Fillion and boasts some great laughs and many nasty moments to make you cringe.

14) The Lost Boys (1987): Corey Haim and Corey Feldman team up to take down the vampire menace plaguing their town, and while there are some serious moments, there are a ton of laughs.

13) Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2007):  This innovative horror film cracked me up when I first saw it.  It’s a very different take on the genre, taken from the point of view of a documentary film crew who interviews an up-and-coming slasher.

12) Jennifer’s Body (2009): This movie was dogged when it first came out, maybe because it starred Megan Fox.  But believe me when I say that this one is crazy entertaining.

11) Zombieland (2009):  Just give Woody Harrelson some twinkies!  I’m not a fan of Jesse Eisenberg, but this horror comedy had a lot of great moments and some great laughs.  And I, of course, have to mention THE cameo from Bill Murray.  I mean, how great was that?

10) Young Frankenstein (1974): Such a classic movie starring the late, great Gene Wilder.  The ‘Puttin’ on the Ritz’ dance is a classic movie moment, and although I’ve seen it over and over, I laugh every time.

9) The ‘Burbs (1989): Tom Hanks just wants to have a quiet vacation at his home, but his neighbor isn’t having it and wants him to help investigate the creepy newcomers who just moved next door.  So many shenanigans.  And another one with Corey Feldman.

8) Ghostbusters (1984):  I don’t think I need to go into any description of this one, a classic comedy with ghosts aplenty.

7) Seed of Chucky (2004): The Child’s Play movies started off scary, but Chucky went full funny in this one.

6) Tremors (1990): Kevin Bacon has to deal with crazy creatures under the dirt in his desert home, but no worries, Reba McEntire is there to help.

5) Cabin in the Woods (2012): Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard made a classic when they made this one.  It’s a different take on the origin of scary movies, and it delivers laugh after laugh along with the scary moments.

4) Tucker & Dale Vs. Evil (2010):  Just a big misunderstanding leads to some hilarious situations in this movie starring Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine.

3) Evil Dead II (1987) & Army of Darkness (1992): I let these two share a number because I just couldn’t decide which one to put on top.  Bruce Campbell is amazing in both.

2) Beetlejuice (1988): This movie delivers a ghost story with some hilarity and a fantastic I performance from Michael Keaton.

1) Shaun of the Dead (2004): I LOVE THIS MOVIE.  This is the first of the Cornetto Trilogy from Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg, and it’s a crazy-fun ride through the zombie apocalypse.

So are there any that should have been on this list that I missed?

List, Movies, Top Horror Lists

Top 5 Most Disappointing Movie Monsters

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We’ve all been there.  You’re watching a horror movie.  Strange, scary things are happening, and you just know whatever is the cause has got to be equal parts creepy and awesome.

Then, it shows up.  And it kinda sucks.  Why did it have to suck?

So in honor of our shared disappointment, this Top Tuesday post is dedicated to the Top 5 Most Disappointing Movie Monsters.

Quick disclaimer: I will not be including any SyFy movies in this list or else it would’ve been too damn long.  And it would have been redundant.  Most of them are supposed to be stupid, right?

5.  Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

I was pretty excited for this movie when it was advertised. I only saw the trailers that didn’t show the creatures (I try to limit my views of horror movie trailers so they aren’t ruined), so I had no idea that the BIG BAD THINGS were cute, little fairy-like creatures. I mean, I wouldn’t mind having one of these little guys as a pet. I’d dress it up, take it to the park, feed it nice things. One thing I wouldn’t do is be terrified of it.

4.  Cloverfield

I can’t say so much that I was disappointed in what this monster looked like; I was just disappointed they showed it all. It wasn’t that bad or anything. In my opinion, the movie just went downhill after they fully showed the big guy. I liked the glimpses, just not the whole enchilada. It was too much enchilada. Like when you think you can eat three at a Mexican restaurant, but you really should have only tackled two. You don’t hate the enchiladas. You just know you had too much.

3.  Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension

I’ve said before that I love the Paranormal Activity movies. I just do. I enjoy the subtle effects and the storyline.  Toby, little Kristie’s best friend, is the malevolent force behind all the chaos in the movies, and I think Toby, in his invisible form, was pretty cool.

And then they gave us the sixth installment, Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension.

It wasn’t exactly terrible.  It just sorta ruined the air of mystery surrounding Toby.  I admit I was pretty excited to find out that they were going to “show the activity” in this one, but I was pretty disappointed to see Toby as just another CGI ghost.  Oh well.  It didn’t ruin the series for me. I just wasn’t a fan of visible Toby.

2.  Stephen King’s The Langoliers

This one’s a little obscure if you aren’t a fan of 90s-era Stephen King TV movies, but it makes the list because it annoyed me soooooo much as a kid. I was so excited about The Langoliers when it was advertised.  I remember even asking one of my teachers in fifth grade if he knew what they were at recess.  Surprise, surprise. He didn’t.

So I watched this movie.  If you don’t know, it’s about a group of people on a plane that flies through the aurora borealis.  Everyone who was awake when that happens disappears, and those that were asleep awake to find themselves wondering why the hell all these people left without their clothes, wigs, pacemakers, and dentalwork.

Thankfully, one of the sleepy passengers just so happens to be a pilot who is able to land the plane at a deserted airport.  After some quick sleuthing and leaps of logic, they figure out they went back in time, proving what middle schoolers already know – history is boring.

One of the passengers, an annoying businessman expertly played by Bronson Pinchot, tells a story about the Langoliers, monsters his dad used to tell him would come and eat him alive if he was bad.  They end up hearing a buzzing noise off in the distance and decide they should get out of there before the source makes it to them.   When the source finally shows up – the titular Langoliers – they are nothing but flying cannonballs with teeth, eating the landscape and devouring time as we know it. WTF, guys?

1.  Stephen King’s IT (*Not Pennywise. He’s Cool.*)

Yep.  Another King entry.  It makes me a little sad to add this one to the list, but as much as I love Stephen King’s It and as much as it holds a very special place in my heart, even I can admit the monster reveal at the end was a let-down.  Maybe it was because Pennywise was so awesome.  There just wasn’t anything they could do to top him, so I imagine the conversation went something like this:

Guy 1: “Okay, we need something to be the actual monster at the end, so what could be scarier than this clown guy?”

Guy 2: “Giant spider?”

Guy 3: “…Yeah. Giant spider.”

Guy 1: “I guess. Let’s tell the effects team.”

Fin.

So those are the top 5 monsters that disappointed me.  Are there any that I missed that made you a little sad?

List, Movies, Top Horror Lists

Motherly Love: The Lessons We’ve Learned

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Happy Mother’s Day!

Okay, I know Mother’s Day was yesterday, but we should really be celebrating our mothers every day.  Shouldn’t we?  Moms are so important.  I know that I’ve been so lucky to have such a loving mother in my life.  She’s funny, loving, smart – the whole package, really.

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But this isn’t the place to talk about all that mushy stuff.  So let’s stick with the status quo and discuss what horror movie moms have taught us:

Lesson:  It’s important to have a moral compass.

Mother: Margaret White (Carrie)

Carrie’s mom just wanted her daughter to follow the righteous path.  Maybe Carrie’s telekinetic powers came naturally to her.  But maybe – just maybe – they came from Satan.  Not Margaret White’s baby!  She was ready to do anything and everything to keep her daughter from landing in the fiery pits of hell, including straight-up murdering Carrie to save her soul.  It’s tough to have to make those kinds of decisions.

Lesson: It’s important to be polite. (Also, don’t wear white after Labor Day.)

Mother: Beverly Sutphin (Serial Mom)

Social niceties are important.  You don’t just steal parking spaces or stand someone’s daughter up for a date in a civilized society – not without consequences.  Beverly Sutphin knew this and tried her darndest to teach impolite people why they needed to die for their slights.  And for wearing white after Labor Day.

Lesson: Explore your talents.  If you’re good at something, it’ll pay.

Mother: Norman Bates/Mother (Psycho)

Ms. Bates was a little domineering.  We all know that.  But she was only looking out for the best interests of her child.  Would Norman have gotten as far in life without Mother’s support?  Telling him when to change the bed sheets, when to turn on the ‘Vacancy’ light, which guests to kill, how to cultivate his skill in taxidermy so that she could “live on” after death?  I’ll tell you where he’d be.  He’d be just another boring guy working at a failing motel.  Listen to your mom.  Mother knows best.

Lesson: Cleanliness is next to godliness.

Mother: Woman (The People Under the Stairs)

Little Alice was bad.  She was friends with Roach, who spoke against her “parents.”  Sometimes children need discipline for going against their parents’ wishes, and sometimes that discipline needs to be a scalding hot bath to wash away their sins.

Lesson:  If anyone hurts my baby, there’ll be hell to pay.

Mother: Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th)

A good mother loves her child unconditionally and will go to terrifying lengths to protect/avenge him.  Oh, so Jason drowned while you were having unprotected sex and getting high on all kinds of drugs?  No problem. Ms. Voorhees will slice-and-dice you and every counselor there ever was.  Don’t come between a mother and her child, or you might just end up dead.

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These are just some of the important lessons we’ve learned from the horror movie mommies in our lives.  And those are some pretty good lessons.  They might be a little more violent than necessary, but well, no mother is perfect.

I mean, my mom is, but that’s beside the point.

List, Movie Reviews, Movies, Top Horror Lists

The Fright Owl’s Top Twenty Favorite Horror Movies

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Since this is the inaugural Top Tuesday post, I thought I’d give my audience a little peek inside my head and list my top 20 favorite horror movies.  It was just going to be a top 10 at first, but that just made me sad.

So here goes…

20) Evil Dead: How could I not put Evil Dead on the list?  Sam Raimi + Bruce Campbell = Imperfect Perfection

19) Paranormal Activity: These movies get a lot more hate than they deserve.  I love that they aren’t in-your-face with the effects and that you have to use your imagination. Plus, I’m pretty special because I’m listed in the credits on the DVD.  Yeah. It’s there along with a billion other people’s names, but DON’T YOU TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME!

18) Trick ‘r Treat: I love a good, Halloween-themed, intersecting bunch of stories as much as the next person.  That’s why this one is probably on your list, too.  And Sam is just freakin’ adorable.

17) The Conjuring: Of the new horror movies that have come out recently, this is only second to one.  It doesn’t have to try too hard to get the creep factor across.

16) Sinister: This is that one. Love, love, LOVE this movie. The music, the direction, the story…all gold in my book.

15) Scream: Ah, the movie that spurred a rash of slasher movies in the late 90s.  Where would we be without Billy Loomis and Stu Macher?  I can tell you one thing.  There would be no Ghostface, and that is not a world I want to live in.

14) Poltergeist (1982): ”You son of a bitch! You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn’t you? You son of a bitch, you left the bodies, and you only moved the headstones! You only moved the headstones! Why!? Why!?” Best. Quote. Ever. Fin.

13) Stephen King’s It: This was my favorite movie in kindergarten, and Pennywise will forever hold a special place in my heart.  Now, it has a special place on my list.

12) The Thing: Doom? Check.  Gloom? Check.  Creepy awesome severed alien head that grows spider legs and shrieks? Check.

11) Shaun of the Dead: All three movies in the Cornetto trilogy are fantastic in my book.

10) Dawn of the Dead (2004): I love zombies. That is all.

9) Psycho: I love the history of this movie just as much as I love the movie itself.

8) Child’s Play:  Before Chucky became a wisecracking serial killer with a wife and kid, he just wanted to take over little Andy Barclay’s body with his crazy voodoo spell. These movies turned into dark comedies, but the first in the series was seriously creepy.

7) Halloween: Oh, Michael.  I could watch you walk slowly and menacingly for hours. And I have.

6) A Nightmare on Elm Street: I don’t want to glorify a burned child molester, but Freddy’s got it going on in the fright department.  The scene where his arms are stretched in Tina’s nightmare? ‘Nuff said.

5) Rosemary’s Baby: This movie is so tense without having to do much.  Poor Rosemary.  Happy me.

4) The Exorcist: No other possession movie has been able to come close to the horror created in this movie.  Perfect.

3) The Shining: Ghost stories and haunted houses have always been some of my favorite things, and Kubrick created such a foreboding atmosphere with this movie that it’s hard not to rank it higher.

2) The Silence of the Lambs: I know. You might try to argue that this one’s more in the psychological thriller category, but go head.  I’m ready.  Just try to tell me that the world’s most famous cannibal doesn’t also belong on a horror list. You can’t.  Not possible. Point: me.

1) The Ring: If you saw my post on Friday, you know I have a little bit of history with this movie.  It’s the first movie that I saw in theaters that actually stuck with me way after it was over, and I’m pretty sure it’ll be one of those movies that I look back on when I’m older and think how cool it was that I saw it opening night in the theater.

Wow. That was so much harder than I thought it would be, and there are so many other movies that I love that didn’t make the list.  I almost feel guilty that I didn’t add more, but who has time to read a top 100?

So, what’s your favorite scary movie?

Movies, Uncategorized

Coming Soon 2016

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movie-theatre-fi-CarlosSillero

Do any of you go through the ‘Coming Soon’ page of IMDB and get really excited about all the horror movies coming out?  I do, and this year is no exception.  This is what we have to look forward to:

MOVIE TITLERELEASE DATE
The Conjuring 2June 10
ClownJune 17
The ShallowsJune 24
The Neon DemonJune 24
The Purge: Election YearJuly 1
GhostbustersJuly 15
Lights OutJuly 22
Don't Breathe (AKA A Man in the Dark)August 26
Patient ZeroSeptember 2
Before I WakeSeptember 9
When the Bough BreaksSeptember 16
DeliriumSeptember 30
Underworld 5October 14
Ouija: Origin of EvilOctober 21
Boo! A Madea HalloweenOctober 21
RingsOctober 28
The Strangers 2December 2
Bye Bye ManDecember 9

I don’t know about you, but I’m really excited for The Darkness, Conjuring 2, Lights Out, and Rings.  I believe I screamed a little when I found out a new Ring movie was on the way.  Here’s hoping it’s a lot better than the second one.

Also, if you haven’t seen the movie short of  Lights Out, I highly recommend you click the link and check it out.  Go ahead.  Do it now. I’ll wait here while you do.

Did you love it?  Yeah. Thought you might.

Break out the popcorn.  I’m ready for the movies.