So I’m all about horror and making things fun and scary, but I’m really struggling with a creepy way to celebrate Easter, the most pastel of all holidays. There just aren’t a lot of options here. I mean, the holiday mascot is a fluffy bunny.
But I’m going to try my hardest.
First of all, the Easter horror movie selection is (not surprisingly) lacking. There are only a handful, so I would recommend watching Easter Sunday (2014) and Peter Rottentail (2004). I haven’t seen either, but Easter Sunday has some pretty good reviews, and Peter Rottentail just looks weird and funny in a very B-movie way. Just Google it to look at the villain. Michael Myers he (she?) is not, but it’s still promising.
Also a good idea would be to check out Critters 2. It takes place near/on Easter, and there’s an excellent scene of the Easter Bunny getting attacked and killed. Not the real one, just a guy in a suit. Check it out:
Pretty cool, right?
Second, maybe find a way to maximize the creep factor of the day by being creative. Start by making some spiderweb dyed eggs. Just check out the many tutorials online. You could even draw some skulls on non-dyed eggs with a sharpie. That’s pretty simple. And if you have kids that are on board the horror train (Side note: I feel like if that’s not a thing, it should totally be), give them some scary movies and gross toys in their Easter basket, which could totally be jet black, by the way.
Pastel is not a requirement.
So there you have it. I tried and – just maybe? – succeeded. I hope you all have a very creepy Easter. Let me know if you have any other scary ways to celebrate.
Prank day! Has anyone gotten fooled yet? Fooled someone yourself? I don’t normally take part in this holiday. Not willingly, at least. I appreciate pranks, but I’m just too lazy to pull them off.
And it’s too bad that I’m lazy because this day is full of scary possibilities. Have some costume blood handy? Fake an injury. Know one of your friends is home alone? Maybe a creepy stalker decides to call them from a random number. Just use your imagination. But be careful. You don’t want to scare someone so badly that they have a heart attack or shoot you if you surprise them. Use your head.
On that note, severed head pranks are good, too.
One thing I will do to celebrate is watch the 1986 horror classic April Fools Day. I suggest you do the same. Maybe you’ll get some good ideas for next year’s pranks. I won’t give any of the plot away, but I will say there are some bloody shenanigans going on.
I do not recommend watching the 2008 version of April Fools Day unless you just want to waste an hour and a half of your life.
The first trailer for the remake of Stephen King’s It is finally out, and I’ve already watched it about 20 times. Exaggeration? You’d think so, but no. I’m freaking obsessed with this thing, and I’ve only seen 2+ minutes of footage. If you haven’t seen it yet (oh, you weren’t constantly refreshing your browser this morning? Weird…), check out the link below:
DID YOU LOVE IT??!?!! (Whoa. Settle. Stop screaming.) Did you love it? Because I did.
I’ve been a little worried about this one because the original made-for-tv version of Stephen King’s It holds a very special place in my heart. As you can see, I’ve mentioned it several times on different posts like here and here. I even gave it lucky #13 on the list of my favorite scary movies. But after seeing the trailer, I am SO EXCITED!
Seriously. I’ve got to stop screaming.
So to begin the trailer, we’ve got the iconic scene of Georgie’s death. Not the whole thing. Just a taste (forgive the wording). And as is tradition, Pennywise, played by Bill Skarsgard, pops up in the drain. Skarsgard looks pretty cool and creepy but doesn’t get to talk yet. I’m really interested in hearing his voice because I just don’t know what direction they’ve taken with it. Is it gruff like Tim Curry’s Pennywise, or is it creepy clown high pitched? We just don’t know.
Then we have a glimpse into the lives of the members of the Loser’s Club. I’m so happy to see them all in action. That scene where they’re looking at a family photo slideshow was freaking awesome. So creepy. Those things aren’t usually very entertaining, so Pennywise just brought a little excitement.
I also was pleased to see the scene with Beth in the bathroom because it looks like they definitely upped the gore factor in this one. Very pleased with that.
Oh, I could go on and on and on, but I’ll stop here. We’ve got a little over 5 months until this movie comes out on September 8, so I’m sure we’ll have much more to look at before then. Until then, keep an eye on the blog for updates, and let me know what you’re most excited about in the comments.
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Last night, I watched The Belko Experiment, a film written by James Gunn, the same guy who gave us Guardians of the Galaxy, Slither, and the screenplay for the 2004 Dawn of the Dead. Mr. Gunn is quite talented, and he’s already proven that he can write horror, so I was excited to check out this movie. The trailer promised a violent, gory ride into the world of office politics. It did not disappoint on that front.
Is it of the same caliber as Guardians? Absolutely not, but it was pretty entertaining, although frustrating at times. As with many horror movies, it’s very easy to settle into the “I can’t believe they’re doing that. If I was them, I would…” way of thinking. It’s best to just sit back, turn off your brain, and enjoy the ride. Unfortunately, my brain’s ‘OFF’ button wasn’t working.
WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS
Belko has been described as a mix of Battle Royale and Office Space, and I think that’s a fair assessment. Belko is funny at times and shows the monotonous side of the workplace environment before settling into murderous mayhem.
If I find out who took my stapler, I’ll kill em.
What starts off as an almost normal morning for the employees of Belko Industries quickly devolves into the most terrifying office meeting anyone’s ever been a part of. Ever have a group project at work go south? Kinda like that but with more blood and exploding heads.
A voice from the building’s intercom interrupts the peaceful day by telling everyone that two people have to be killed within the next 30 minutes. Of course, everyone thinks it’s a prank, but then the building’s defenses kick in. Metal plates slide over the windows and doors, and before you can say “dead end job,” they’re trapped. Everyone groups together in the downstairs lobby, and after 30 minutes pass, a few employees get some strong headaches. Like so strong their heads explode.
BC Powder ain’t gonna fix that.
Not surprisingly, everyone panics, and one of the characters figures out that the tracking chips implanted in the employees when they each took their jobs are to blame for the violent migraines. Tracking chips, you ask? Well, Belko is located in Bogota, Colombia, and the employees were told the chips were implanted to locate them in case of a kidnapping. Just a normal day in Colombia, I guess.
Now that everyone knows Mr. Intercom was serious, he gives them another task. This time 30 people have to die within the next 2 hours or 60 will be killed. This is where things turn into a free-for-all between those who still believe in the sanctity of human life and those who just say “Screw it. Let’s get to killin.'”
I don’t want to give everything away here, but let’s just say lots of people die. Very violently. I was extremely impressed by the special effects in this film. They gave us not one but two head smashing scenes and so many head explosions that I lost count. I’m a gore fan, so I was not disappointed there.
The one thing that did bother me is the main character. Now, I don’t really know how I would react in that situation – and it goes without saying that I hope I never do – but the main character just really got on my nerves at times. Good ol’ Mike Milch, played by John Gallagher Jr., is appalled at the idea of killing his friends and co-workers like any normal person would be, but he takes it to a level that I just found annoying. This is where I wished my brain could have turned off, but it just wasn’t happening. I found myself not really rooting for anyone to live or die and just sat back to enjoy the violence of it all.
Okay, I take that back. I did root for John C. McGinley’s character to die. He did a really good job playing a creep in this movie, so yeah – he needed to go. There was also another annoying character or two that I wasn’t sad to see kick it. I guess I just didn’t really root for anyone in particular to live.
So should you go see The Belko Experiment? It definitely placed third out of the three movies I’ve seen in the past few weeks, which includes Logan (So awesome!) and the highly-praised Get Out, but I think it was absolutely worth the price of the ticket. Like I said earlier, I enjoy gore and violence in movies, so if that’s not your thing, this movie isn’t for you. But if you’ve dreamed of killing any of your co-workers, this movie might be a cathartic experience. Enjoy it, and let me know your thoughts in the comments.
And just as a side note: If you haven’t seen Get Out yet, what the hell is wrong with you?! Go! Go now!
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! I’ve always enjoyed this little holiday. Green is my favorite color, and green beer – well, that’s just smart. I’m not Irish or Catholic, so the religious aspect of the day isn’t something I usually think about, and I understand that celebrations of the holiday have been criticized for being too commercial and for playing on offensive stereotypes about the Irish people.
But I’m going to wear green and enjoy the day anyway. You do you. I’ll do me.
But you didn’t come here to read about green beer or the commercialism of America. It’s a cool topic, but – you know – horror blog. So let’s talk about the horror movies you should be watching today.
Yep. The Leprechaun series.
Not this guy.
Believe it or not, there are seven of these guys. SEVEN. And the last one just came out in 2014. Yes. This decade got its own Leprechaun movie. There’s even one with aliens.
They get pretty wild.
The first movie came out in 1993 and starred pre-nose job future “friend” Jennifer Aniston and the ever-awesome Warwick Davis. Davis actually plays the title character in each movie except the most recent. You should also know him as Willow and, of course, Professor Flitwick. He’s a pretty cool guy.
Now, don’t they sound like fun? They might not have the highest ratings, but did you really expect masterpiece theater from a series of movies about a murderous, evil leprechaun? I didn’t think so.
If you’re looking for a seriously scary group of films, these ain’t it. But they are very entertaining and pretty damn funny. It’s nice when movies like these don’t forget what they are, and the Leprechaun series is just a bunch of fun. Plus, Leprechaun in the Hood has Ice-T. That’s something.
So check these movies out. Give them a chance. What else are you going to do tonight? Go out and get drunk?
Even if you don’t celebrate it, I’m sure you have an opinion about Valentine’s Day. Love it or hate it (or just plain don’t care), if you have to do any kind of shopping, you just can’t avoid all those pink and red hearts, cupid cutouts, and chocolate, chocolate everywhere.
I fall in the category of “Hey, at least it breaks up the first quarter of the year with an event.” I use to be one of those people that just thought it was made up and stupid, but I grew out of that because hating stuff for no good reason is just dumb.
Anyway, it’s a cutesy holiday, and while I have no problem being nice to my husband, cute just ain’t for me. Romance movies? Blah. No, thank you.
So what kind of creepy fun can you have for Valentine’s Day? Well, of course, there are movies, and we can’t really talk about Valentine’s Day without mentioning THE scary movie of the holiday: My Bloody Valentine.
I own both the 1981 original and the 2009 remake starring none other than the elder Winchester, Jensen Ackles.
They’re both okay.
The original was creepy when I was a kid, and I really enjoyed the (SPOILER) twist at the end. The remake was also fun, but it was also a little cheesy – probably because it’s made for 3D, and I didn’t watch it that way. Lots of crazy stuff flying at the screens, which is cool, but it loses a little something in 2D.
If you haven’t seen either of them and want to hear the legend of Harry Warden, you should totally watch them now. They aren’t the best horror movies, but they’re also not the worse.
And I will say, they’re much better than another Valentine’s Day horror movie I feel like I should mention: Valentine starring Denise Richards, David Boreanaz, and Katherine Heigl. Very meh.
Aside from movies, you have a few other options. Valentine’s Day cards can be made creepy with a few tweaks. I made one a few years ago for my husband (I’ll post a pic if I can find it) that had Frankenstein’s monster and the Bride on the front with the words “Made for Each Other.” Just because it’s not Halloween doesn’t mean you have to phone it in.
You can give your Valentine some cool flowers, like this black rose:
vA
Also, a bloody steak seems appropriate for the day. And chocolate. Don’t forget about the chocolate. That’s non-negotiable (unless you’re allergic and then you get a pass).
For all the horror movie fans out there like myself, 2017 is going to be a fun year. We’ve got a lot of new ideas to enjoy and some old favorites to revisit. Here’s the list:
Sequels, remakes, and reboots are everywhere you look, but I’m not complaining. Jason Voorhees gets to drop in for a visit in October along with Jigsaw, and the new It movie really has my interest. What movies are you looking forward to most in 2017?
UPDATE MARCH 18, 2017: The list has been updated after consulting IMDb to see what I’ve missed. You might notice that the newest Friday the 13th movie has been removed. I’m sorry to say that it’s been cancelled due to the poor performance of Rings. I know, I know. I’m sad, too, but we still have many horror movies to keep us busy this year.
Last week, my husband stumbled upon a movie cash code that I thought was lost forever, and when I redeemed it online, I learned that it expired at the end of the month. That didn’t give me much time, and since it’s so close to Halloween, I couldn’t NOT go to a horror movie. That would have been stupid.
My choices were limited as Boo! A Madea Halloween and Ouija: Origin of Evil are the only horror movies in theaters right now (side note: What the hell is up with that?). I gravitate toward scarier, of course, so Ouija it was.
I have to say that the movie very much exceeded my expectations. I enjoyed the first one to an extent because I will pretty much like any horror movie I watch, but it wasn’t the greatest. Just your average teen ghost/supernatural thriller. It had a few scares, but overall it wasn’t anything to freak out about. This one was a different story. It had a creepy plot and didn’t rely solely on jump scares to frighten the audience.
Warning: Here Be Spoilers
I’m not going to go into too much detail here. The actresses and actors involved did a wonderful job, but the standout performance of the movie was Lulu Wilson, who starred as Doris. If you remember the first movie, that is the ghost’s name from the original. Doris, like many creepy kids in horror movies, started off cute and just went downhill really quickly after messing with a – dun dun DUN! – Ouija board. If you weren’t already aware, that was a mistake.
I guess I just didn’t file the original in my brain for very long because I didn’t get until almost the end that these characters were actually connected to the original movie. I felt pretty stupid, but it also made me enjoy the movie a lot more since I had one of those “Oooohhhh” moments as the movie was reaching its height,
I am completely fine with horror movies that don’t have a very happy ending, so the ending of this movie was – I felt – very appropriate and enjoyable. My mom disagrees, but I think it takes something away from the creepiness of a film to have everything work out just right. Since I finally realized near the end that these were the same characters, I figured out where it was heading, and I thought they did a great job of playing it out.
I also want to point out the nod to The Exorcist when the priest, played by Henry Thomas, stops outside the Zander home with his bag of religious goodies. I love shit like that.
My recommendation is that you go watch this one in theaters to celebrate the holiday. I’m a fan, and it even made me want to watch the first movie again.
The sequel to Blair Witch Project – which is creatively named Blair Witch – premieres tonight in theaters. The original revived the found footage genre when it came out in 1999, and whether you love it or you hate it, you can’t deny that the movie deserves a prominent place in the Horror Movie Hall of Fame.
If that’s not an actual something, it should be.
You might be thinking, “What about Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2?” Well, two things:
Stop thinking about it. It’s not a good movie. It just isn’t.
The creators want us to ignore it, so that’s what you should do.
BlairWitch follows a group of college students into the Burkittsville woods where they are predictably – as the title suggests – terrorized by a malevolent presence. According to IMDB, the main cast for the movie is double the original at a total of 6. Hopefully, they’re all a lot more likable than the 3 from the first movie, but it doesn’t really matter. I doubt any of them make it out alive anyway.
I’m really interested to see how this one measures up, but I’m on the fence about whether to see it in theaters or not. Unfortunately, I am part of the group that doesn’t do very well with shaky cam movies. I get motion sickness quite easily, I get really nervous about throwing up, and I’m cheap so I don’t want to pay for a ticket for a movie I can’t watch. I made it through the Paranormal Activity movies because the cameras were still most of the time. PA: TheMarked Ones almost did me in, but I stayed strong. I’m a fighter.
I actually really like the original. Many say they hate it because it’s basically just three annoying college kids arguing in the woods most of the time, but if you’re familiar with the forest – whether because you’re a frequent camper or because you grew up around it – I think it’s easier to identify with the terror and dejection of being lost and frightened. Yeah, you just want to punch them most of the time, but when you hear the children laughing in the woods around them, see the creepy stick figures, or see the bloody bundle of Josh’s hair and teeth, you kinda feel for them. I mean, that’s pretty terrifying.
And the ending is one of my favorites of any horror movie. It packs a punch. Seriously, I would recommend anyone watch just for that part.
Anyway, if I go see the sequel, I’ll be sure to give a quick review of my experience. I’ll also make sure to get a Sprite to help my stomach power through. Maybe I’ll give it a pep talk beforehand.
